Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
