you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
