Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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