You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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