I like my sex mixed with concussions.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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