I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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