I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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