Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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