Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
