We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just found puke in my bra..
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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