We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
