Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
