Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
