So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm bleeding and have questions
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
