Your dad touched me again.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
