Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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