i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Randomize
