Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
they need to just BURY HIM!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
