thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
