my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
