Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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