He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
