Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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