Do you still have your period?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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