I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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