He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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