i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
