I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
