90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
