I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
