maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
