hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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