I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
