you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I fill condoms, not promises.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
