problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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