I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
