She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
