he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
