Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize
