Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
