We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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