Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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