Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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