I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
