you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
