So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
