I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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