i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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