we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
