I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
This is the high leading the old right now
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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