I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
